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The Quotable Stripes

written by: jdw1981
This quiz tests your knowledge of memorable quotes from the 1981 comedy "Stripes." Warning: It contains some really obscure references -- only for real fans.

Question 1:

The movie Stripes begins with twenty-something John Winger (played by Bill Murray) watching an army recruiting commercial on television.
Complete this line delivered by him:
John Winger: My philosophy: a hundred-dollar _____ on a three-dollar pair of _____.  (place mouse pointer over ? icon to view hints or answer requirements)

Question 2:

Winger is driving his cab at the beginning of the movie Stripes.
Pick up the missing word in this quote:
Passenger: [agitated; worried] Are you sure you're not going too fast?
John Winger: [weaving back and forth in his cab]: Oh, it's not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn't drunk all that _________ this morning.
cough syrup
motor oil

Question 3:

Complete the following line delivered by Winger when his girlfriend walks out the door after breaking up with him in the movie Stripes:
John Winger: You can't go! _________________!
What am I gonna do with all your shoes!
Who'll pay the rent?
All the plants are gonna die!
I love you!

Question 4:

In the movie Stripes, John Winger's best friend Russell Ziskey (played by Harold Ramis) arrives at Winger's house after Winger's girlfriend dumps him and leaves.
Complete the following dialogue:
John Winger: I've had an interesting morning. In the last two hours I've lost my _____, my _____, my _____, and my _____.
Russell Ziskey: You still have your health.
manhood, girlfriend, apartment, money
mind, money, motorcycle, girlfriend
job, apartment, car, girlfriend
mother, father, brother, girlfriend

Question 5:

In the movie Stripes, Winger and Ziskey arrive at the Army recruiting office. A gentleman outside tells them they've parked in a loading zone.
Complete Winger's response:
John Winger: "We're not parking it, we're _____ it!"

Question 6:

In the comedy movie Stripes, Winger and Ziskey are meeting with the army recruiter when he starts asking eligibility questions.
Complete the following dialogue:
Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals?
John Winger: [John and Russell look at each other] You mean, like, flaming, or...
Recruiter: Well, it's a standard question we have to ask.
Russell Ziskey: No, we're not homosexual, but we are ____________.
*looking forward to it*
*happy to be here*
*willing to learn*

Question 7:

Sergeant Hulka is introducing himself to the new recruits in the movie Stripes. What does Winger call Sergeant Hulka? Complete the following dialogue:
Sergeant Hulka: Men, welcome to the United States Army. I'm Sergeant Hulka. I'm your drill sergeant. Before we proceed any further, we gotta get something straight. Your mamas are not here to take care of you now. It's just you, me, and Uncle Sam. And before I leave you, you're gonna find out that me and Uncle Sam are one in the same...
John Winger: [muttering to his neighbors] ________?  (place mouse pointer over ? icon to view hints or answer requirements)

Question 8:

The new recruits in the comedy movie Stripes are taking turns introducing themselves in the barracks:
Cruiser: I joined the army 'cause my father and my brother were in the army. I thought I'd better join before I got drafted.
Who responds: Son, there ain't no draft no more?
General Barnacke
Colonel Glass
Captain Stillman
Sargeant Hulka

Question 9:

In the comedy film Stripes, the new recruits are taking turns introducing themselves in the barracks.
Complete the following line:
Psycho: The name's _____ _____, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me _____, and I'll kill you.  (place mouse pointer over ? icon to view hints or answer requirements)

Question 10:

The new recruits are taking turns introducing themselves in the barracks in the movie Stripes. Complete the following analogy:

John Winger: I'm gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An Army without leaders
is like....
a guitar without a pick
a foot without a big toe
an airplane without a pilot
a chicken without a beak

Question 11:

Complete the following dialogue from the movie Stripes:
Sergeant Hulka: We got a full day ahead of us. We're gonna start out with a five-mile run.
[Soldiers groan]
John Winger: I know that I'm speaking for the entire platoon when I say this run should be postponed until this platoon is better rested.
Sergeant Hulka: Well, I'll tell you what, soldier. Let's make it ____ miles.

Question 12:

In the movie Stripes, Sergeant Hulka is yelling at Winger after the platoon gets disciplined for leaving the post without permission.
Complete the following dialogue:
Sergeant Hulka: I'm talking about something important, like discipline and duty and honor and courage. And you ain't got none of it!
John Winger: Those words mean so much to a man who scrubs _____ _____. Look, if you don't want me in your Army, kick me out, but get off my back.
shower heads
bed pans
toilet bowls
garbage cans

Question 13:

Complete the following line from the film Stripes:
Captain Stillman: [talking to himself; looking through binoculars, spying on female soldiers taking showers] Oh, God, I wish I was a ______.
scrub brush
fly on the wall

Question 14:

In the movie Stripes, Colonel Glass interrupts Captain Stillman as he is spying on the female soldiers showering.
Fill in the missing words from the following dialogue between Colonel Glass and Captain Stillman:
Col. Glass: I have a problem, and I need your help. Are you familiar with the EM-50 project we have in Italy?
Captain Stillman: Yes... it's a tank... or something.
Col. Glass: [impatiently] It's ____________ Vehicle!
an Urban Utility
a Sport Utility
an Urban Assault
a Suburban Assault

Question 15:

The recruits are trying to finish basic training on their own after Sergeant Hulka is injured. They have to prepare to drill in front of General Barnicke at graduation. Training isn't going well and the men are getting discouraged until John Winger offers the following pep talk.
Complete the line:
Winger: We're Americans, with a capital 'A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're ______!


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