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Pun Intended for Nothing In Particular #5

written by: thaibob
 
Continuing with a hodge-podge of nothing in particular are more PUNS. Please keep that in mind. If you want more of this foolishness, just do a search for "Pun Intended" or click on "Thaibob". Read the questions carefully.

Question 1:


When video arcades switched to a system of tokens, there was no ____________________ .
nobody in attendance
person who had tokens
place to change money to tokens
quarter asked or given

Question 2:


To make sure cargo trucks aren't too heavy, police operate on the principle that ________________________.
something is rotten in the state of the cargo hold
where there's a will there's a weigh
where there's a wheel there's a weigh
it must be too heavy because the tires look tired

Question 3:


I can't drink milk. (Next sentence please)
I lactose genes required to digest it.
I'd rather drink some udder beverage.
I lack those genes required to digest it.
I hate it.

Question 4:


This girl said she recognized me from the Vegetarian Club ___________________________.
but I'd never met her before
but I'd never met herbivore
but I was eating steak at the time
she must have been mis steak en.

Question 5:


The boy who got electrocuted was unable to give a statement because he was ____________________.
dead
still shocked at the incident
sizzling with excitement
in a coma like trance

Question 6:


The best floor exercise gymnasts come from ____________________.
Colorado Springs
Sandy Springs
Hot Springs
Palm Springs

Question 7:


When you purchase stuff south of the border, ___________________________
none of these
bargaining is the key word
the eye in the sky is watching
you don't peso much

Question 8:


The dermatologist was an avid gardener but he had a problem with _________.
mice
rats
squirrels
moles

Question 9:


As the farmer passed the gorgeous woman he did everything he could ___________________.
to a tractor attention
to sew the seeds of romance
none of these
before he ran out of gas

Question 10:


When the spammer's computer exploded, ________________________.
it blew him to kingdom come
so did all of his spam
he immediately went into cardiac arrest.
it blew him to kingdom.com

Question 11:


I used to think I was indecisive, but _______________________.
now I'm not so sure
reality struck me in the face
now I'm just a liar
I finally made up my mind

Question 12:


Studying earthquakes really rocks, but sometimes it's not always ____________________.
along straight lines
my fault when things go wrong
what it's cracked up to be
the subject to study considering the dangers involved

Question 13:


__________ is a ______________ hobby.
Sewing - boring
Knitting - lousy
Weeding - back breaking
Nitting - lousy

Question 14:


A used car is not always __________________.
the choice of new car buyers
what it's cracked up to be
old and tyred
what it's jacked up to be

Question 15:


I think I screwed up with the construction. (Next sentence please)
I bolted too soon.
I couldn't nail it
I screwed up the final phase.
There was no bathroom or kitchen.

Question 16:


The author in northwest Alaska used a pen name. (Next sentence please.)
It was a Nome de plume.
It was a Nom de plume.
Juneau what it is?
Do you know what it is?

Question 17:


Is the training given to expectant parents ___________________?
apparenticeship
apprenticeship
expectancy
home delivery

Question 18:


We should make a beer commercial. (Next sentence please.)
It CAN be kind of fun.
We could BOTTLE it up and sell it.
It certainly would be exhilarating,
It sounds simply intoxicating.

Question 19:


Neuter your dog - an ounce of prevention is better than ______________.
a pound of cures.
a pound of curs.
a house of pups
euthanasia

Question 20:


He thinks octopuses are creepy, and he __________________.
will take up arms to defend his position
makes no bones about it
refuses to go to the aquarium
goes arm in arm with others who feel the same way

 


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