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Pun Intended Seriously

written by: thaibob
 
Continuing with this silly series of puns that are too crazy to pass up, I hope that you will take this quiz and meditate on the seriousness of the questions and answers. If you do, you will create an aura of brilliance around your body that only a complete moron could pass through. Good luck.

Question 1:


A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of __________.
serious damage
math disruption
bouncing betty
mass destruction

Question 2:


A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ________.
"what boy?"
"he's still looking for the toilet"
"he's already been discharged"
“No change yet.”

Question 3:


There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. (Add the next sentence).
He won a puncil.
He laid down a punt and was thrown out at first base.
No pun in ten did.
He was punted out.

Question 4:


When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a ___________.
loving feeling
whole lotta nuttin'
taste of religion
mouthful of bones

Question 5:


It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in _______.  (place mouse pointer over ? icon to view hints or answer requirements)
tears
layers
tiers
eruptive hilarity

Question 6:


A man needs a mistress just to break the __________.
monotony
monopoly
monogram
monogamy

Question 7:


In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your ______________.
vote that doesn't count
mother-in-law that votes
wife that votes
count that votes

Question 8:


Did you realize that the guy who invented the doorknocker got a _________ .  (place mouse pointer over ? icon to view hints or answer requirements)
Nobel prize
No-bell prize
punch in the face
No-Bull prize

Question 9:


Newsflash - All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police ___________ .
are completely stumped
are all choked up with tears
have nothing to go on
haven't a clue

Question 10:


A three-legged dog walked into a saloon in the Old West. He sidled up to the bar and announced, “I'm looking for the man ____________."
who left me home alone."
who shot my paw.”
who shot my maw."
who shot my papa."

 


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