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Pun Intended Questionly - Part Five

written by: thaibob
 
I just can't stop with the questions. Hope you can help me out. Watch your spelling and don't forget these are puns.

Question 1:


How do mountains see?
They erupt
They don't
They peek
They peak

Question 2:


Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive.
It dropped like a stone.
It blew its periscope.
The bubble burst.

Question 3:


Where are average things made?
In the satisfactory.
In the average factory.
In the middle of the road.
In Averagetown.

Question 4:


"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." said the doc. The man asked "Is it common"?
"If Only I Knew"
"It's Not Unusual"
"Mama Told Me"
"What's New Pussycat"

Question 5:


Years ago, scientists developed artificial sugars and in more recent years artificial fat. In 1999, scientists invented artificial spaghetti. What was the brand name?
Pastapoo
Impasta
Phonypasta
Nonpasta

Question 6:


What will pollution of the Grand Canal cause to happen?
An Italian snap election
Make a Venetian blind
It already happened; the Venetians left
A big stink

Question 7:


Why was the tired knight's butt like a mythical beast?
His ass was dragging.
His bum was soregon.
His ass was dragon.
His bum was so far gone.

Question 8:


If you are an American outside a toilet, what are you inside?
European
Australian
Russian
Asian

Question 9:


Why was the college football star's father unhappy after he paid the school tuition for his son?
His son wasn't going to that school.
His son played basketball and looked forward to going to another school
His son couldn't tackle the school work.
He only got a quarter back.

Question 10:


Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
Because she mislaid them.
They hatched.
She hadn't laid any.
Her eyesight was terrible.

Question 11:


When the cops raided the strip joint, who did they arrest?
every one
those with no clothes
every bawdy
every body

Question 12:


The picture of the horse is good. But where is the wagon?
"Oh, the horse will draw that."
"You always put the horse before the wagon."
"It's hidden because it looked terrible."
"It's really way beyond my realm of expertise."

Question 13:


A new light bulb has been invented.
So watt!!!
Watts it called?
110 or 220 volts?
Enlighten me.

Question 14:


How did Mister Nucleus escape from prison?
With just a kernel of ingenuity.
He used a newtronic drill.
Through the cell wall.
Electronically.

Question 15:


Did you hear about the drug dealers being interrogated by the police?
They all decided to take a coke break.
They do crack.
The police did not allow smoking.
Unfortunately, nothing came about.

Question 16:


Why did the pig stop sunbathing?
His pink skin was turning brown.
He was baking in the heat.
He needed to root with his snout.
He was bacon in the heat.

Question 17:


Where do caveman store their weapons?
Inside an animal's skin.
Under their beds.
In the clubhouse.
Near the entrance.

Question 18:


What do you say to impatient jockeys?
Take a break.
Settle down.
Saddle up.
Hold your horses.

Question 19:


What top does an astronaut wear to the moon?
Apollo shirt.
A polo shirt.
A flotation device.
A loosely knit sweater.

Question 20:


What happens when Mr. Sip's wife steps into the rest room?
does California
does Arizona
does Massachusetts
does Mississippi

 


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