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Pun Intended Questionly - Part Five

written by: thaibob
 
I just can't stop with the questions. Hope you can help me out. Watch your spelling and don't forget these are puns.

Question 1:


How do mountains see?
They peek
They erupt
They don't
They peak

Question 2:


Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It blew its periscope.
It dropped like a stone.
The bubble burst.
It really took a dive.

Question 3:


Where are average things made?
In Averagetown.
In the average factory.
In the satisfactory.
In the middle of the road.

Question 4:


"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." said the doc. The man asked "Is it common"?
"If Only I Knew"
"What's New Pussycat"
"It's Not Unusual"
"Mama Told Me"

Question 5:


Years ago, scientists developed artificial sugars and in more recent years artificial fat. In 1999, scientists invented artificial spaghetti. What was the brand name?
Phonypasta
Nonpasta
Pastapoo
Impasta

Question 6:


What will pollution of the Grand Canal cause to happen?
It already happened; the Venetians left
Make a Venetian blind
A big stink
An Italian snap election

Question 7:


Why was the tired knight's butt like a mythical beast?
His bum was so far gone.
His bum was soregon.
His ass was dragon.
His ass was dragging.

Question 8:


If you are an American outside a toilet, what are you inside?
Australian
Asian
European
Russian

Question 9:


Why was the college football star's father unhappy after he paid the school tuition for his son?
His son wasn't going to that school.
His son couldn't tackle the school work.
He only got a quarter back.
His son played basketball and looked forward to going to another school

Question 10:


Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
Her eyesight was terrible.
Because she mislaid them.
She hadn't laid any.
They hatched.

Question 11:


When the cops raided the strip joint, who did they arrest?
those with no clothes
every body
every bawdy
every one

Question 12:


The picture of the horse is good. But where is the wagon?
"It's hidden because it looked terrible."
"It's really way beyond my realm of expertise."
"You always put the horse before the wagon."
"Oh, the horse will draw that."

Question 13:


A new light bulb has been invented.
Enlighten me.
Watts it called?
So watt!!!
110 or 220 volts?

Question 14:


How did Mister Nucleus escape from prison?
With just a kernel of ingenuity.
He used a newtronic drill.
Through the cell wall.
Electronically.

Question 15:


Did you hear about the drug dealers being interrogated by the police?
They do crack.
The police did not allow smoking.
Unfortunately, nothing came about.
They all decided to take a coke break.

Question 16:


Why did the pig stop sunbathing?
His pink skin was turning brown.
He was baking in the heat.
He was bacon in the heat.
He needed to root with his snout.

Question 17:


Where do caveman store their weapons?
In the clubhouse.
Inside an animal's skin.
Near the entrance.
Under their beds.

Question 18:


What do you say to impatient jockeys?
Settle down.
Take a break.
Saddle up.
Hold your horses.

Question 19:


What top does an astronaut wear to the moon?
A polo shirt.
Apollo shirt.
A flotation device.
A loosely knit sweater.

Question 20:


What happens when Mr. Sip's wife steps into the rest room?
does Arizona
does Mississippi
does California
does Massachusetts

 


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