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Pun Intended Questionly - Part Five

written by: thaibob
I just can't stop with the questions. Hope you can help me out. Watch your spelling and don't forget these are puns.

Question 1:

How do mountains see?
They don't
They erupt
They peak
They peek

Question 2:

Did you hear about the submarine industry?
The bubble burst.
It really took a dive.
It dropped like a stone.
It blew its periscope.

Question 3:

Where are average things made?
In the average factory.
In the middle of the road.
In the satisfactory.
In Averagetown.

Question 4:

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." said the doc. The man asked "Is it common"?
"If Only I Knew"
"It's Not Unusual"
"What's New Pussycat"
"Mama Told Me"

Question 5:

Years ago, scientists developed artificial sugars and in more recent years artificial fat. In 1999, scientists invented artificial spaghetti. What was the brand name?

Question 6:

What will pollution of the Grand Canal cause to happen?
It already happened; the Venetians left
Make a Venetian blind
A big stink
An Italian snap election

Question 7:

Why was the tired knight's butt like a mythical beast?
His ass was dragon.
His bum was soregon.
His ass was dragging.
His bum was so far gone.

Question 8:

If you are an American outside a toilet, what are you inside?

Question 9:

Why was the college football star's father unhappy after he paid the school tuition for his son?
He only got a quarter back.
His son couldn't tackle the school work.
His son played basketball and looked forward to going to another school
His son wasn't going to that school.

Question 10:

Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
Her eyesight was terrible.
They hatched.
She hadn't laid any.
Because she mislaid them.

Question 11:

When the cops raided the strip joint, who did they arrest?
every one
those with no clothes
every body
every bawdy

Question 12:

The picture of the horse is good. But where is the wagon?
"You always put the horse before the wagon."
"Oh, the horse will draw that."
"It's hidden because it looked terrible."
"It's really way beyond my realm of expertise."

Question 13:

A new light bulb has been invented.
Watts it called?
Enlighten me.
So watt!!!
110 or 220 volts?

Question 14:

How did Mister Nucleus escape from prison?
With just a kernel of ingenuity.
He used a newtronic drill.
Through the cell wall.

Question 15:

Did you hear about the drug dealers being interrogated by the police?
They do crack.
They all decided to take a coke break.
Unfortunately, nothing came about.
The police did not allow smoking.

Question 16:

Why did the pig stop sunbathing?
He was bacon in the heat.
He needed to root with his snout.
His pink skin was turning brown.
He was baking in the heat.

Question 17:

Where do caveman store their weapons?
In the clubhouse.
Near the entrance.
Inside an animal's skin.
Under their beds.

Question 18:

What do you say to impatient jockeys?
Hold your horses.
Saddle up.
Take a break.
Settle down.

Question 19:

What top does an astronaut wear to the moon?
A loosely knit sweater.
Apollo shirt.
A polo shirt.
A flotation device.

Question 20:

What happens when Mr. Sip's wife steps into the rest room?
does Mississippi
does Massachusetts
does Arizona
does California


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