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Pun Intended Questionly - Part Five

written by: thaibob
 
I just can't stop with the questions. Hope you can help me out. Watch your spelling and don't forget these are puns.

Question 1:


How do mountains see?
They peak
They erupt
They don't
They peek

Question 2:


Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It blew its periscope.
It really took a dive.
The bubble burst.
It dropped like a stone.

Question 3:


Where are average things made?
In the average factory.
In the satisfactory.
In the middle of the road.
In Averagetown.

Question 4:


"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." said the doc. The man asked "Is it common"?
"It's Not Unusual"
"Mama Told Me"
"If Only I Knew"
"What's New Pussycat"

Question 5:


Years ago, scientists developed artificial sugars and in more recent years artificial fat. In 1999, scientists invented artificial spaghetti. What was the brand name?
Impasta
Nonpasta
Phonypasta
Pastapoo

Question 6:


What will pollution of the Grand Canal cause to happen?
It already happened; the Venetians left
A big stink
An Italian snap election
Make a Venetian blind

Question 7:


Why was the tired knight's butt like a mythical beast?
His ass was dragon.
His ass was dragging.
His bum was so far gone.
His bum was soregon.

Question 8:


If you are an American outside a toilet, what are you inside?
Russian
Asian
European
Australian

Question 9:


Why was the college football star's father unhappy after he paid the school tuition for his son?
His son wasn't going to that school.
His son couldn't tackle the school work.
His son played basketball and looked forward to going to another school
He only got a quarter back.

Question 10:


Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
Because she mislaid them.
She hadn't laid any.
Her eyesight was terrible.
They hatched.

Question 11:


When the cops raided the strip joint, who did they arrest?
every body
those with no clothes
every one
every bawdy

Question 12:


The picture of the horse is good. But where is the wagon?
"It's hidden because it looked terrible."
"It's really way beyond my realm of expertise."
"You always put the horse before the wagon."
"Oh, the horse will draw that."

Question 13:


A new light bulb has been invented.
Watts it called?
Enlighten me.
110 or 220 volts?
So watt!!!

Question 14:


How did Mister Nucleus escape from prison?
He used a newtronic drill.
Electronically.
Through the cell wall.
With just a kernel of ingenuity.

Question 15:


Did you hear about the drug dealers being interrogated by the police?
The police did not allow smoking.
Unfortunately, nothing came about.
They do crack.
They all decided to take a coke break.

Question 16:


Why did the pig stop sunbathing?
He needed to root with his snout.
His pink skin was turning brown.
He was bacon in the heat.
He was baking in the heat.

Question 17:


Where do caveman store their weapons?
Near the entrance.
Under their beds.
In the clubhouse.
Inside an animal's skin.

Question 18:


What do you say to impatient jockeys?
Hold your horses.
Settle down.
Take a break.
Saddle up.

Question 19:


What top does an astronaut wear to the moon?
Apollo shirt.
A flotation device.
A polo shirt.
A loosely knit sweater.

Question 20:


What happens when Mr. Sip's wife steps into the rest room?
does Mississippi
does Massachusetts
does Arizona
does California

 


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