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Pun Intended Jobbingly

written by: thaibob
 
All of the puns have to do with occupations or something akin to them. Remember, the key word is PUN.

Question 1:


The international jewel thieves were hard to catch because they _____________________.
had a good ring leader
moved the merchandise quickly
only pearloined the easy stuff to fence
never took Ruby's love to town

Question 2:


As a drug counselor, ______________________.
I'm always on the lookout for a quick buck
I'd still walk a mile for a Camel
I never snort at my clients
I get clients by referral

Question 3:


Always trust a glue salesman. (next sentence please)
Why knot?
But not if he's selling paste.
They tend to stick to their word.
Their honesty is beyond reproach

Question 4:


The feather dancer was rushed to the hospital. (Next sentence please)
She slipped on her outfit.
Her boa constricted her.
She was choking on her boa.
She was going into labor.

Question 5:


The pilot was a loner but even for him flying a drone was ___________________.
lonely without a flight attendant to bring him snacks and coffee
just too remote
hard on his eyes
boring

Question 6:


Since I've taken the job in The Everglades _________________ .
the humidity is killing me
I wish they'd get rid of the gators
I'm lost in the swamps
I've been swamped

Question 7:


Be kind to your dentist, _________________ .
he has fillings, two
he has feelings, too
he has fillings, too
he has feelings, two

Question 8:


Historians have ________________.
extra-sensory perception
always had their noses to the grindstone
long memories
extra-century perception

Question 9:


Automatic machines that compete in sculling are ____________.
automats
scullerers
robots
rowbots

Question 10:


A backward poet ______________.
backwards
writes a verse then changes it
writes inverse
writes in verse

Question 11:


Those who study the moon are optimists. (Next sentence please)
They look at the bright side.
Why would they be pessimists?
They're also of one mind.
They never lose sight of their object.

Question 12:


The marine biology student took a _____________.
math course called algebra
science course called sci-ence
history course called dino-saurs
math course called algae-bra

Question 13:


I simply must find a new podiatrist. My podiatrist has developed ___________________.
such a callus attitude
such a callous attitude
athlete's foot
bromodosis

Question 14:


I chose my gastroenterologist _____________________.
because he married my sister
based on a gut feeling
because of an Alka-Seltzer commercial
because of my ulcers

Question 15:


The roulette dealer had a unique personality. (Next sentence please)
He had a number fetish
He had a different spin on everything.
He just fit right into that slot.
He just loved to play with the ball.

Question 16:


How do construction workers party?
They lift the beams.
They raise the roof.
They bring down the house.
They drink like there's no work tomorrow.

Question 17:


The nudist was acquitted of indecent exposure because __________________________.
she was clothed in anonymity
everyone was blinded by her beauty
it was night and nobody could tell if she was clothed or not.
nobody could pin the wrap on her

Question 18:


Dermatologists are very competitive. (Next sentence please)
They all have skin in the game.
They're like moles and warts on a toad.
It's just one big face-off.
Acne makes for great competition.

Question 19:


A summer is a ___________________.
mathematician
premature autumn
Glau, Cummings, Altice or, Bishil
season of the year

Question 20:


The coin artist promised he'd change his profession to ___________________.
nothing involving metal
one not etched in stone
a less hardened one
something noteworthy

 


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