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Pun Intended Jobbingly

written by: thaibob
 
All of the puns have to do with occupations or something akin to them. Remember, the key word is PUN.

Question 1:


The international jewel thieves were hard to catch because they _____________________.
moved the merchandise quickly
only pearloined the easy stuff to fence
never took Ruby's love to town
had a good ring leader

Question 2:


As a drug counselor, ______________________.
I'm always on the lookout for a quick buck
I never snort at my clients
I get clients by referral
I'd still walk a mile for a Camel

Question 3:


Always trust a glue salesman. (next sentence please)
They tend to stick to their word.
Their honesty is beyond reproach
Why knot?
But not if he's selling paste.

Question 4:


The feather dancer was rushed to the hospital. (Next sentence please)
She slipped on her outfit.
She was choking on her boa.
She was going into labor.
Her boa constricted her.

Question 5:


The pilot was a loner but even for him flying a drone was ___________________.
just too remote
lonely without a flight attendant to bring him snacks and coffee
hard on his eyes
boring

Question 6:


Since I've taken the job in The Everglades _________________ .
I've been swamped
I wish they'd get rid of the gators
I'm lost in the swamps
the humidity is killing me

Question 7:


Be kind to your dentist, _________________ .
he has feelings, too
he has fillings, too
he has feelings, two
he has fillings, two

Question 8:


Historians have ________________.
long memories
always had their noses to the grindstone
extra-century perception
extra-sensory perception

Question 9:


Automatic machines that compete in sculling are ____________.
scullerers
rowbots
robots
automats

Question 10:


A backward poet ______________.
writes a verse then changes it
writes in verse
writes inverse
backwards

Question 11:


Those who study the moon are optimists. (Next sentence please)
They're also of one mind.
They look at the bright side.
Why would they be pessimists?
They never lose sight of their object.

Question 12:


The marine biology student took a _____________.
science course called sci-ence
history course called dino-saurs
math course called algae-bra
math course called algebra

Question 13:


I simply must find a new podiatrist. My podiatrist has developed ___________________.
bromodosis
such a callous attitude
such a callus attitude
athlete's foot

Question 14:


I chose my gastroenterologist _____________________.
because of an Alka-Seltzer commercial
because he married my sister
based on a gut feeling
because of my ulcers

Question 15:


The roulette dealer had a unique personality. (Next sentence please)
He just fit right into that slot.
He had a number fetish
He had a different spin on everything.
He just loved to play with the ball.

Question 16:


How do construction workers party?
They bring down the house.
They raise the roof.
They lift the beams.
They drink like there's no work tomorrow.

Question 17:


The nudist was acquitted of indecent exposure because __________________________.
nobody could pin the wrap on her
it was night and nobody could tell if she was clothed or not.
she was clothed in anonymity
everyone was blinded by her beauty

Question 18:


Dermatologists are very competitive. (Next sentence please)
They're like moles and warts on a toad.
It's just one big face-off.
Acne makes for great competition.
They all have skin in the game.

Question 19:


A summer is a ___________________.
premature autumn
mathematician
season of the year
Glau, Cummings, Altice or, Bishil

Question 20:


The coin artist promised he'd change his profession to ___________________.
one not etched in stone
something noteworthy
a less hardened one
nothing involving metal

 


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