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Pun Intended Jobbingly

written by: thaibob
All of the puns have to do with occupations or something akin to them. Remember, the key word is PUN.

Question 1:

The international jewel thieves were hard to catch because they _____________________.
had a good ring leader
moved the merchandise quickly
only pearloined the easy stuff to fence
never took Ruby's love to town

Question 2:

As a drug counselor, ______________________.
I get clients by referral
I never snort at my clients
I'm always on the lookout for a quick buck
I'd still walk a mile for a Camel

Question 3:

Always trust a glue salesman. (next sentence please)
They tend to stick to their word.
Why knot?
Their honesty is beyond reproach
But not if he's selling paste.

Question 4:

The feather dancer was rushed to the hospital. (Next sentence please)
She was going into labor.
Her boa constricted her.
She slipped on her outfit.
She was choking on her boa.

Question 5:

The pilot was a loner but even for him flying a drone was ___________________.
hard on his eyes
just too remote
lonely without a flight attendant to bring him snacks and coffee

Question 6:

Since I've taken the job in The Everglades _________________ .
I've been swamped
the humidity is killing me
I wish they'd get rid of the gators
I'm lost in the swamps

Question 7:

Be kind to your dentist, _________________ .
he has feelings, two
he has feelings, too
he has fillings, two
he has fillings, too

Question 8:

Historians have ________________.
always had their noses to the grindstone
extra-sensory perception
long memories
extra-century perception

Question 9:

Automatic machines that compete in sculling are ____________.

Question 10:

A backward poet ______________.
writes in verse
writes a verse then changes it
writes inverse

Question 11:

Those who study the moon are optimists. (Next sentence please)
They look at the bright side.
They never lose sight of their object.
They're also of one mind.
Why would they be pessimists?

Question 12:

The marine biology student took a _____________.
math course called algae-bra
math course called algebra
history course called dino-saurs
science course called sci-ence

Question 13:

I simply must find a new podiatrist. My podiatrist has developed ___________________.
such a callus attitude
athlete's foot
such a callous attitude

Question 14:

I chose my gastroenterologist _____________________.
based on a gut feeling
because of my ulcers
because he married my sister
because of an Alka-Seltzer commercial

Question 15:

The roulette dealer had a unique personality. (Next sentence please)
He had a different spin on everything.
He had a number fetish
He just loved to play with the ball.
He just fit right into that slot.

Question 16:

How do construction workers party?
They bring down the house.
They lift the beams.
They raise the roof.
They drink like there's no work tomorrow.

Question 17:

The nudist was acquitted of indecent exposure because __________________________.
it was night and nobody could tell if she was clothed or not.
she was clothed in anonymity
nobody could pin the wrap on her
everyone was blinded by her beauty

Question 18:

Dermatologists are very competitive. (Next sentence please)
They all have skin in the game.
It's just one big face-off.
They're like moles and warts on a toad.
Acne makes for great competition.

Question 19:

A summer is a ___________________.
premature autumn
season of the year
Glau, Cummings, Altice or, Bishil

Question 20:

The coin artist promised he'd change his profession to ___________________.
one not etched in stone
something noteworthy
nothing involving metal
a less hardened one


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